So apparently I have to listen to Lana Del Rey every time I write these. And I’m fine with that.

Oy Vey.

What a day.

The interview: Nah. I took it. But I’m calling back and saying no. Just not for me. My heart isn’t in it. But not too much longer working in hell. I am sure of it. I will find something else.

Didn’t go to Andy’s party. Saw a bunch of people we didn’t know outside, felt awkward, went to Sonic instead.

AS FOR THE REST OF THE EVENING.

-_-

He thinks I won’t find out about things. Sigh.
This really isn’t anybody’s business anymore. I put these things on here to get my own head clear, not to gossip. If somebody reads this shit, that’s dandy.
BUT alas, I wish people would stop acting like they know everything. It’s not your relationship. Stay the fuck out. You really don’t know shit. The only ones who really know what’s going on is us. The two of us. People are acting like they know everything and getting involved. You don’t know shit. So stay out. GAH. It’s not your business. My life choices, are none of your business.

But what I’ve realized today is, I put a lot of faith in people.

I’ve lost faith in humanity as a whole, but people individually who come in and out of my life, I put a lot of trust and faith in them. I’m in between as to whether that’s a negative or positive quality. I don’t think it makes me naive. It makes me open. I give people chances. This one in particular… I’m giving quite a few chances.

I really REALLY hope he doesn’t fuck things up this time. I’m still mad as FUCK. But I believe people can change, especially him. And especially if you realize  you have a problem. Am I pathetic? I’m staying positive. There are too many good memories to disregard, and I’ve come to the decision that it is worth it. Because without him, I don’t know. I feel a vital piece is missing. We just have a lot to work through. Three months, and we need fucking therapy. I think it’s something worth fighting for…I hope.

Don’t worry, he’s not off the hook yet. That knife of guilt was sunk in deep…and deeper…and deeper. Yeah, I didn’t stop.

All I want is honesty. Is that too much to ask?

“Maybe I like this roller coaster
Maybe it keeps me high
Maybe the speed it brings me closer
I could sparkle up your eye”

Stayin positive. That’s all we can do.

allyson<3

Today… was an amazing day. I can’t even. Here’s how it went…

I opened my savings account, went to the bank, and deposited all of my graduation money into said account.
All that money is saved for moving out. Stoked :) In a safe place.

Went to school because Jacoby called me and made me. “Hey Woman.”
I got all my FAFSA stuff worked out because I got a letter saying something went wrong and I wouldn’t be able to submit it for the 2012-2013 school  year. But everything is good now! Big weight off my shoulders!
Jacoby helped me with my classes for Red Rocks. I got a list of my required courses for my major. Stoked! Made an appointment with an advisor at Red Rocks for next Thursday to get all my questions answered and complete my schedule. Rockin! Stoked.

Went to work, made sure I had that day off.

Ran some errands, like a boss.

Went home, blah blah blah.

Got a call…
The lovely Vanessa referred me to the company she works for. I have an interview tomorrow at 11 :) Also stoked. If I get this…and the other job I applied for… I’m gonna take them both. Because fuck it, that’s why. It’s summer. I can do it. I’m a boss.

I got all of my shit taken care of, plus some. Had a LOVELY dinner with my parents, an even better walk by myself. Amazing. Went to Wrath Of The Titans with my lady. Incredible.

This was an AMAZING day, and I’m ready for an incredible weekend.

Andy’s party, Hannah’s party, Erin and Seth’s BBQ :)

Ah yes. Things are working out :)

With this job, being in my own place will be a breeze.

Stoked on life :)

allyson<3